Women's Olympic Beach Volleyball: Yes, Please.

It's commonly accepted that beach volleyball originated in Santa Monica when nets were put up on a beach near the playground in 1920. Since then, its popularity has grown in leaps and bounds - and on September 21st 1993, the International Olympic Committee granted Beach Volleyball Olympic medal status. Much to the chagrin of feminists and sandcastles everywhere.

Earlier this year Margareta Winberg, the former Swedish minister for equality, said of Women's Olympic Beach Volleyball "This is not sport. This is sex-fixated entertainment". Well, duh.



She's got a valid point. But the men play in Speedos, the male equivalent of a bikini, and I don't hear any women complaining about that. So I looked into some statistics: Men are allowed to play volleyball in shorts and speedos, while women are not allowed to wear bikini bottoms that have side seams that are broader than seven centimetres. So the rules for women don't set a limit on the skimpiness of a bikini, but rather the opposite - they are required to keep their attire sufficiently jiggly and revealing. Those vicious Olympic bastards.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. OK, I'm lying. I'm a big fan. Did anyone else see the issue of Playboy with the nude pics of Gabriella Reece in it? Women Volleyball players have exceptional bodies. Kerry Walsh (pictured above) has a six pack that would make Schwartzenegger jealous. Since Walsh is from California, maybe Arnold could invite her to the Governor's Mansion and get a few quick crunch tips. That is, of course, if she could stand all the Austrian grab-ass that would be sure to ensue.

Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball had pre-pubescent boys drooling all over their X-Box's last year and became one of 2003's top selling titles, and their fathers and older brothers were undoubtedly in the next room watching the real thing intently on ESPN8. But let's not forget about Mom and Aunt Bunny upstairs in the den watching the men's competition and sucking on Rocket Pops.

This reeks of a reverse double standard. I say equal-opportunity salivating is completely acceptable. If the men's uniform was a three-piece woolen business suit, Mrs. Winberg - the Rocket Pops would be on me.