Friday's Fairytale: Essential Christmas Croonings.

The usual source of the quizzlets is once again sucking hind tit, self-admittedly using "leftover" questions this week - all of which I've answered before here on PITF. So I'm thinking up my own. It's relevant, it's hep, it's seasonal and it's interactive. Although it is late in the day, and many have you have already mentally checked out for the weekend, play along if you please. And if not, go pork a wreath.

Top Five Holiday Songs EVAH.

5. The Chipmunk Song - The Chipmunks: Human counterpart "Dave" encourages Alvin and the rest of his little rodent gang to wish for more peace and love, and less hula hoops, during the holiday season. It's catchy, and ever so frigging creepy at the same time. Here's a Flash parody that will immediately make you want to bathe.

4. Little Drummer Boy - David Bowie and Bing Crosby: On his yearly Christmas special in 1977, Bing asked Bowie, whom he'd never heard of but had been advised was big with 'the kids', to join him for this classic duet. Crosby died a month later, and nobody saw this until after his death which added to the already oozing sentimentality. Personally, I'm glad that Bing got one last chance to prove that he could entertain children just as well as he could beat them. I kid Bing. He was awesome.

3. Christmas in Hollis - Run DMC: During their 80s heyday, the guys put together this yuletide hip-hop single that was the first and last of its kind. Here's the thing - it's surprisingly a very, very good tune. I loved it as a kid, and it holds up well over time. I buy into the fact that Santa visits the hood as regularly as he does any other neighborhood. I don't buy into the fact that collard greens should be served with Christmas dinner or that the pre-religious Run would have returned Santa's wallet.

2. Baby, It's Cold Outside - Dean Martin: If you know me, you know of my eternal love of Dino. That having been prefaced, this song could have easily been called I Know you Don't Want to Fuck me, but it's Really Frigging Cold Outside. Listen to Dean coax his ladyfriend into staying for "one cigarette more" due to the raging elements that await her outside. The raging erection is most definitely inside, and Dean's going to be dammed if he lets his folly leave before there's egg nog all over her green sweater. In all seriousness, this is a cute classic that I always pull out this time of year.

1. Fairytale of New York - The Pogues: I'll say it - This is hands down the best Christmas song that has ever been written. Shane MacGowan and the late Kirsty MacColl trade sentiments and then jabs in a booze-soaked yuletide slugfest. Any song that can bring me to tears every year, which also rhymes 'maggot' with 'faggot', has something just a little special going on. This year marks the 5th anniversary of Kirsty's tragic death, and the single is being re-released with all proceeds going to her charity. There is also a documentary about the strange story behind the song airing on the BBC next week. The best of the best, this song will be featured on Radio Pye next week for the uninitiated.