Polly Wanna Open The Bomb Bay Doors?

As I strolled through Government Center this morning, my head its usual jumble of stresses and tasks for the imminent workday, being shat upon by a seagull was the last thing in the mental pipeline. It wasn't the first time this has happened - once as a child I was visiting an amusement park near Toronto when one of the winged bastards managed to get a cluster bomb right in my bag of cheesies. What are the chances?

What, indeed. When I got to work, looking like one of the paint covered crooks from Home Alone, I met with some reassuring words from one of my coworkers. "It's good luck when a bird shits on you," he said. "Think about the accuracy that takes. You couldn't do that if you tried." Well, the last time I tried I got arrested for a hate crime. So don't hold your breath for that to happen again anytime soon. At least not while charges are still pending. But anyway, he's right.

The angle, velocity, windspeed, etc. would all have to be perfect. A pidgeon dropping a white, watery grumpy on me from 10 feet in the air is akin to Luke getting two proton torpedos into the Death Star's exhaust shaft. The assault didn't worsen my mood though, it actually improved it. All my other worries melted away as I started to giggle at the silliness of it all. Luck, fortune and avian feces. Great shot, Polly - that was one in a million.