Things That Give Me Bumps In The Night.

As I walked past the mirror on my way to the bathroom this morning, I noticed an enormous bump in the middle of my forehead. It's closer to the hairline, and I sort of look like a budding young unicorn - I have an impacted wisdom horn, perhaps. It's pretty ridiculous, and I almost thought about working from home today rather than face society with this goose egg. But then again, I'll stay home for a good episode of Columbo. I am a professional, you see.

So I have to assume it was some sort of bug. And due to the bump size, likely a spider. And that's just nasty. What else is fucking with me while I slumber? Is the cat tea-bagging me with little furry orange nuts in retribution for questionable litter box cleanliness? Is it Santa who keeps drinking all my beer? I just don't know.

So some nasty little bug bastard sat on the middle of my head and drank blood to its heart's content. And he's on to a good thing now, so I can probably look forward to this again. There will be a thorough ceiling spider check when I get home tonight, and possibly masturbating.