DNC Is Coming To Town: Reporting For Duty.

I don't know who Kerry Edwards is. But I bet she's wicked hot.



Johnny's speech kicked ass. I'll admit it. But the Saudi Royal Family reference ruined it for me - totally. You had me... and then you lost me.

Keep Mike Moore's paper-thin horseshit on the sidelines if you want to stay in the running.

I watched it word for word from the bar at the Wyndham hotel. But I'm still confused about one point: Did John Kerry serve in Vietnam? Cause I'm still unclear. No really. Was he in that particular war - because I don't think that was ever made abundantly clear at any point tonight. Southeast Asia, right?

"My name is John Kerry, and I'm reporting for duty."

JESUS.

I sat next to a Georgia senator, a democratic party psychiatrist, and even clinked glasses with a nice woman who had actually gone on a date earlier that evening with Colin McNickle. You remember him - Teresa so eloquently told him to "shove it" a few days ago. I asked her if he'd gotten over it. She went to smoke a cigarette and never returned. Some dates go well. Some dates don't. Most women find me repulsive.

"Bottom line - As long as none of the speeches tonight contain references to drowning hamsters, we should be alright."