Not Guil Teeeeee Heeeeee!
I hate being right all the time. I mean, it's just really getting old. Shaamoown!
Drudge is calling for the arrest of the prosecuting attorney, and I'd like to personally substitute the word 'arrest' with 'public penis flogging'. What a long, drawn out, exhaustive, gold-digging, meritless, hyper-litigious crock of shite. Congrats, Mike. If your lawyers let you keep a few scheckles of your dwindling fortune, here's hoping you get yourself a celebratory present. In fact, I think the only way for you to ever truly be safe from these sorts of allegations will be to go completely broke. So treat yourself to one last bag of deceased celebrity bones, tweak an ear (the left one needs to be bleached and the lobe shortened a bit) and lock yourself in your bedwing before masturbating voraciously to Home Alone. You've earned it - so take a load off/all over the 48 inch plasma screen.
posted by Dave Pye @ 6/13/2005 05:21:00 PM
8 Comments:
Jesus, Michael, if I hear one more story (false or otherwise) about you luring little boys into your bed, I'm going to come down to Neverland and smack you upside the head myself! Stop putting yourself in those kind of situations and grow up. Now get to Bangkok and bang all the little cock you want… Who's bad?
I'm glad our strange, bird-like little pop star friend is off the hook, but I agree with Graeme. Hanging with underage boys leads to a certain sort of stigma. Hot, sticky, stinky stigma.
Stinky stigma, indeed!
I had a brainstorm after your last two postings...
Celebrity boxing match? MJ versus Iron Mike? You know they're both hurting for cash. Just a thought.
Let's see...OJ NOT GUILTY..bloody bodies/evidence/car chase etc....Robert Blake NOT GUILTY gun/body witnesses etc....M.Jackson Not Guilty a whole lot of shit/boys/bedroom activities etc....Scott Peterson Guilty/death Row..no evidence..no witnesses...Scott you fucked up...California is the place ya' ought ta' be....
Chrm, I am confused. Peterson was tried in California. While Mr. Jackson is guilty of being weird, the State of California just didn't do it's job. CNN is podering what he should do next. I have an idea, shoot yourself.
BDoyle, ah, the Celebrity Boxing match. That used to be one of my guilty pleasures…that is until Screech pummeled Horshac. You can’t mismatch your pugilists in the ring – Horshac versus JJ “Dy-no-mite” Walker, or Screech versus Urkel, now those would have been battle royals! So, I think Jacko would have to battle someone more appropriate like Boy George or David Bowie to even out the odds (the smart bet would be on Bowie).
Lest we forget Vanilla Ice vs. Todd Bridges.
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