George Clooney Is Not Cary Grant.

The George Clooney kudos crescendo is caving my head in. 10 years ago he was a regular on Roseanne, lest we forget. Jake Gyllenhal had to play tongue-hockey with another stinky man repeatedly for his nomination, and what did he get? Sure, Clooney had his fingernails pulled out with pliers, but I actually really enjoyed that scene. Most folks probably cringed watching the torture, but I stood up on a chair and cheered: "That's for Return of the Killer Tomatoes, ya bastard." And quite possibly for this.

"Actually, it would probably be easier if I just said 'Anyone who wasn't in Crash please stand up'." - Jon Stewart

I wanted Munich to win, because it actually deserved to, but had no pipe dreams about that happening. I cashed in my chips and went downstairs to watch Life on Mars long before the Oscars had ended. I fully expected to see Brokeback on the front page of CNN this morning, so imagine my surprise. Crash is an OK movie, but I think the Academy really lost the PC plot this year. If you're on the fence about that last statement, you need only be reminded of Stewart's most prolific joke of the evening:

"Once again, for those of you who are keeping score: Martin Scorcese, zero Oscars. Three-Six-Mafia, one."