I Don't Even Know What Espionage Means, Sir.

Once upon a time I worked at a company who insisted I sign a lengthy and vague non-compete / non-disclosure policy which obviously benefitted absolutely no one but themselves. Supposing I had decided to sell a 500-word webcam product review to the Russians - what could have been my fate, I wonder? I think non-competes are designed to make CEOs feel better about themselves. Especially if you sell, like, rabbit food or something. I've even seen interns made to sign the things. Let's act out a little scene here for illustrative purposes:

- "Let me get this straight. I am going to intern here and basically work for you for free for 300 hours this summer."
- "That's the offer on the table, yes."
- "And on top of that, I have to sign a document saying I will never perform the skills I am interning here to learn in practice for any other company - for a period of at least 5 years?"
- "Bingo, baby."
- Are you going to guarantee me a job at the end of my internship?
- You've got a better chance of seeing one-legged a cat bury a turd on a frozen pond. So do we have a deal?"
- What color is the sky in your world?

And... scene. Be careful what you sign, kids. I am not going to go into any amount of detail, but I've seen some silly things recently that have made my head spin with disbelief. Or maybe that was just all the mentholated schnapps.