Documenting Debauchery: Masshole Luau.
Saturday night some of Concord Carlisle's most prestigious alumni joined forces with the good citizens of Watertown for one pissah of a Hawaiian luau, kid.
Half of these friggin' kids were friggin' rocked off of James' friggin' fruit punch. The other kids were gassin' bottles of Twisted Tea like it was 90 degrees at Fenway in August, dude. And of course, there was a half-barrel of Bud Lite floatin' in a friggin' kiddy pool like Mary Jo Kopechne.
And... scene. OK, I'm finished channeling the ghost of Ricky from Revere and ready to discuss some of the evening's festivities. First of all, let's analyze the above photo. Is anyone else creeped out that Ryan (far left) looks like he's about 12 years old? It looks like a Big Brother field trip gone horribly wrong. A NAMBLA initiation ceremony. I need a shower. Kate looks ravishing, as always. Brian looks like someone just slammed his schnutz in a car door. And we know full well that didn't actually happen until Sunday morning.
JT and I throw the goat in protest of Nomar's untimely trade to the Cubs. It was the topic of many emotional statements throughout the night. All of which ended with "kid" or "dude", kid.
We were all lookin' for something to do Saturday night, so it's a damn good thing that Ricky on the far left there brought along two tickets to the gunshow! Last time I saw forearms like that, I was throwin friggin' peanuts into the friggin' gorilla cage at the zoo, dude. Pissah.
I need a weekend to get over last weekend.
posted by Dave Pye @ 8/02/2004 08:54:00 PM
4 Comments:
It was already in my favorites menu. I did a Google search a week ago for "organizations Bryan belongs to".
Think you could pack much more meat in that party - talk about a luau where no one gets laid - fricken snausage convention!
Come on, anonymous. Nothing like a hot, stuffy, non-air-condition-havin' apartment full of steakhead massholes to round out a weekend. There were women there. I swear. They were all from Niagara Falls.
Ryan here - I am 12 years old by the way! Thanks for the pics, even if there was a shortage of girls, it was a good time. Thanks all for coming!
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