I Welcome A Little Porn In My Work E-mail.

I am lucky enough to work in an office that walks a fine line between the formal and the informal. We have all the trappings of a strict corporate environment - dress code, office hours, vacation policy, bonus structure, etc. What we lack, thankfully, is a designated network administrator who spends all of their time filtering this and blocking that... Effectively ruining everyone's extremely inappropriate workday fun.

I'm obviously kidding. The internet is a hostile Petri dish of wormies and crickets - perhaps even more bacterially volatile than Courtney Love's last pap smear. We need vigilant network admins in larger environments - it's just that here we're all tech-savvy enough to know what sort of online activity is safe, and what's tantamount to shooting your PC with a 12 gauge. I was also recently able to determine, through hours of research - once and for all, that Virtual Valerie is not a real person.

Still, there's nothing quite like firing up Outlook on a Tuesday morning to unwittingly download photos of a lovely young woman who holds the record for the most consecutively employed marital aids. Honey - where do you go from here? Might I suggest a medicine ball or a SCUD missle?