Dropping the Gobbler.

Before I go any further, and on a sorta related hippyish note - Neil. My beloved Neil. You're killing me. OK - I feel a little better now. Back to business.

I'm on a bit of a health kick at the moment, one I hope will last longer than a Tootsie Roll Pop, and I've purchased a whackload of Green Tea to sip at the office. A great guy who used to play for the Revolution once interned here for me, and he swore by it. I think I saw him drink 8 cups in one day, and I'm not exaggerating. I asked him if he was trying to ward off some sort of mystical Chinese dragon that maybe I couldn't see, and he said that "It is the best anti-oxidant you can get". I then wondered if he perhaps drank Crisco all day at home and this was his way of countering that bad habit. Regardless, he had a jawline like Marv and must have been doing something right.

Gosh knows, if anyone needs a little anti-oxidizing it's probably me. A winter's worth of beer, questionable red meat, french onion dip and Reverse the Curse has left me feeling like one giant arterial clog with shoes on. Other efforts include - walking to and from work (50 minutes a day roughly), oceans of water, salad, fruit and veggies followed by a health shake thingy for dinner. So it's a crash, boom pow system shocker for a couple of weeks, and then back to the gym every day once the metabolism is back up and the lion's share of the winter weight is gone.

Why do I write about this potentially embarassing stuff on my blog? First of all, I could use some opinions and advice. Smash said it best on her site a week or so ago while running down a very simple list: "3) If you do more and eat less, you'll probably lose weight." That's really all there is to it. However any words of wisdom for myself and others may be left in the comments. Second of all, when one makes obnoxious public declarations about their sveltness like anyone actually cares, people will hold you to them. "Glad to see you went right ahead and didn't get back into shape the way you said you were going to, male Sally Struthers". That always feels great.

The only way to get rid of this turkey gobbler, which is making me look extremely old and decrepit, is to get myself back down to fighting weight (210 lbs.) - and that's not going to be easy. So I'm putting my sloppy, poulty-esque neck out there on the chopping block and calling my shot - I will weigh 210 and look studly by Independence Day. Or I will shave my head. Who's in? Any other chubbies want to get in on this and set up a similar wager? And shaving pubes doesn't count, because I do that already. Let's fuckin' go, eh?