Friday's Quizzlet: A Scumble In The Bronx.

Appetizer: Make up a word and give us its definition.
Balderdash is the best board game ever devised. If you've played it, you already know that the object is to try and bluff/fool your friends into picking your phony definition of a real, but little known, word. One night, senior year of high school, Mike, Kent, Nate and a few others were playing it around my kitchen table. I got the word 'scumble' and defined it as "Any fight taking place in West Concord". When that particular group would get together and play, the game would become about cracking up your friends. That was one of the hardest laughs I've ever had. But I don't want anyone to think we spent our Friday nights sitting inside playing board games because that would be uncool. Not at all - Friday nights were for Dungeons and Dragons.

Soup: What is currently your favorite song?
I've previously stated that pound-for-pound, my all-time favorite song is There Goes The Fear by The Doves. And I imagine it always will be. The Pixies' amazing rendition of Something Against You last night at Avalon would run a close second. But the album I'm currently playing the hell out of at work is Lou Reed's New York. I haven't given it any attention for a decade, and it's still brilliant.

Salad: What's at the top of your Christmas wish list this year?
"My Christmas Wish List" in big, red crayon.

Main Course: Name a scent that reminds you of someone in your life.
Hi Karate always reminds me of a shop teacher I had in grade 7. The rumor was, that this guy had removed the inside of his pants pockets. And had once, while he was holding a piece of wood or a hammer or something, asked a student to reach into his pocket to get a tape measure - where they then found themselves grasping a semi-chubbed giggle stick. This story spread like wild-fire throughout our school, and I always felt bad for the man because he seemed absolutely harmless when I was locked in his office with him looking at Austrian pornography.

Dessert: Who is someone on television that you feel probably shouldn't be?
Jon Stewart. He's adored by hundreds of thousands of young, impressionable people who are too thick to discern real news from satire. And he's violently partisan, which makes it all the more unhealthy. I am the complete opposite of a Jon Stewart fan. Used to go see his stand-up, now all I want to do is see him fall down - on a chainsaw.