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Wednesday, January 19, 2005

A Heartfelt Apology And Sincere Retraction.

Last week, I suggested that Michael Moore would be perfect to play Clyde the orangutan in a fantasy remake of the seminal Clint Eastwood classic, 'Any Which Way You Can'. I have since rethought my childish barb and want to issue a full apology to Mr. Moore and any other moonbats who may have been offended by my ignorant suggestion.

My reason for the retraction has nothing to do with a new found respect for the man. On the contrary - I still think he's an overrated, slovenly mound of stegasaurus dung. I've just found a more appropriate part for him, is all. They've cast almost every role for the upcoming remake of Charlotte's Web - that heartwarming tale from our youth (if you've never read it then you obviously grew up on the moon). Have a read and see if you can remember what major character is conspicuously absent from the article.

OK - do you see where I'm going with this now? Need I say more? Someone get that fat windbag on the phone and let him know that his dream role is about to be lateraled to Louie Anderson.



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