God And I Can Finally Agree On Something.

"When Jesus died for your sins he wore a crown of thorns, not a lobster bib".

God and I have agreed to disagree many times over the last few years. Usually when he appears to me in my dreams and encourages me to purchase a semi-automatic rifle and shoot up an Arby's. Obviously I haven't flipped my wig to that extent. The Big Montana is frickin' delicious.

But we're getting close to a compromise, me and God. I absolutely hate seafood and apparently so does the big guy. God Hates Shrimp is a website devoted to the Bible's many clues regarding our heavenly father's position on aquatic life, and I encourage all of you to read it. Snacking on crustaceans is apparently akin to adultery, murder, coveting and buggery on the sin-o-meter.



You'd think that someone who took the time and effort to invent 40,000 different species of fish and sealife would be a more supportive parent. You'd think such an obvious parody of conservatives would be a lot less funny (see my thoughts on Jon Stewart). But well done, my falafel-eating friends. Credit where credit is due. Make sure you look at the T-Shirt page, too. Pinch the tail and suck the head, sinners.